Mask Ninety-Four

I ordered the product, in hopes of hiding ravages of time from my face. My wrinkles, sun spots and moles were holding youth from me. I felt twenty-something, but looked eighty-something. I am eighty-three.

I ordered the speedy delivery plan and received it three days later.

“Dr. Yung’s Lotion”

I used my magnifier to read the small print. I wanted to make sure I used this cream exactly as I should.

The cream’s packaging looked very much like a toothpaste tube. I was to use the full contents of the tube. It was to be applied, thickly, to my face and neck. I left the cream on my face, as per the instructions and went to bed.

The next morning I awoke to find a mask of blue, clinging to my face. The direction given was to gently peel off the product, careful to keep the mask as a whole. It could be reapplied later onto the face for added benefits. What I found, after I peeled it off was nothing more than magic!

My face was soft and radiant and had the glow I longed to have for so, so long. The cream worked! I truly looked fifty years younger.

I was beside myself with happiness. I pulled myself a nice bubbly bath for a hot soak in the tub. I took off my robe and lifted away my nightgown. I was petrified by what my eyes beheld.  Indeed, my face had changed, but the sagging skin of my old body remained. As a naked woman, I looked monstrous!

I quickly called the 800 number and ordered a half-dozen more tubes, with expedited delivery, of course. For the full-monty.

It was delivered. I used the product on my body, ignoring the warning not to do such a thing. As before, I awoke to find a blue body suit. I carefully removed and placed it, safely, in my fur vault.

Who says an old broad can’t have her very own “Wonder Woman” suit?