Friday, August 9, 2013

Trifextra: Week Eighty


Trifectawritingchallenge.com
The word for this weekends challenge is "Tooth", expressed in a way other than a child losing a baby tooth. My inspiration came from a previous Trifextra submission from Draug. Thank you.  It was appealing to use dialog to tell a silly story. The setting: A bar in LA. The characters: Smokers. The message: Brush your teeth!   
 
 
“You’re eyes are stunning!”

“Thank you.”

“Want to go outside for a smoke?”

“Ok.”

“Chilly tonight.”

“It is!”

“Take my jacket.”

“You’re sweet.”

“I can be.”

“Kiss me?”

“Nope, your missing a tooth.”
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27 comments:

  1. chamblee54August 9, 2013 at 9:40 AM

    Somebody is paying attention. Either that, or a tongue piercing hurts.

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    Replies
    1. UnknownAugust 9, 2013 at 10:26 AM

      A tongue-piercing is what knocked out the tooth in the first place! Thanks for your funny comment.

      Delete
  2. AnonymousAugust 9, 2013 at 10:06 AM

    Funny little piece!

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    Replies
    1. UnknownAugust 9, 2013 at 10:27 AM

      Thought today was much more of a funny one than a dark, for a change;)

      Delete
  3. DobsonAugust 9, 2013 at 11:26 AM

    The details make the difference.

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    Replies
    1. UnknownAugust 9, 2013 at 11:41 AM

      Thanks Dobson, thought they might help set the stage.

      Delete
  4. AnonymousAugust 9, 2013 at 11:52 AM

    First, get a tooth and then, we would kiss. Ha! Humorous... :-)

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  5. AnonymousAugust 9, 2013 at 1:29 PM

    Hahaha! This is great!

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  6. AnonymousAugust 9, 2013 at 1:31 PM

    Gotta keep up with those dental appointments :)

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  7. IvyAugust 9, 2013 at 2:30 PM

    Missing teeth = deal breaker. So true!

    Great, fun and unique take on the prompt.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Jo-Anne Teal (jtvancouver)August 9, 2013 at 11:19 PM

    Very unique take! All's well until that first knowing smile!

    Enjoyed this. :)

    (just a note: 'your' should be "you're" in the last line)

    ReplyDelete
  9. DraugAugust 10, 2013 at 6:31 AM

    Aww poor guy.

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  10. brudbergAugust 10, 2013 at 10:37 AM

    I guess the lisp is what got him in the first place.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Valerie BoersmaAugust 10, 2013 at 11:11 AM

    I love this Shawn-so much more original a brush off than saying "I'd like us to be friends."

    Great job!!

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  12. scribblersnscribesAugust 10, 2013 at 11:25 AM

    Liked you take on the prompt. That would be me. Oral hygiene is really important to me and if someone is missing a tooth, good chance they don't keep up with that and if that's the case all bets are off. No kiss from me either.

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousAugust 10, 2013 at 12:39 PM

    ah dental care is not for everyone in america - not covered for most people and if you are the 1 in 6 poor- so you might have to start getting used to kissing those with poor choppers

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  14. glynis rankinAugust 10, 2013 at 1:43 PM

    I like that you used dialog for this story, shows uniqueness

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  15. SuzanneAugust 11, 2013 at 7:55 AM

    Well, you've got to draw the line somewhere, right? And yes, please brush your teeth people!

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousAugust 11, 2013 at 1:10 PM

    Cute, funny little piece. :) I love that everything was going so well until the tooth.

    (Small thing: I think you swapped your "you're" and "your" in the first and last lines!)

    ReplyDelete

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