Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Trifextra Week 102 - For Eric

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This week we're asking for exactly 33 of your own words about love gone wrong.  But we're asking that you not use any of the following words: love, sad, tears, wept, heart, or pain.








             
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Good luck and happy writing!
 
 
 
 
For Eric
 
Thoughts arise,
Sometimes.
A union,
Once strong,
Now long gone.
 
Times spent
Deep in embrace,
Couldn’t etch
Tumultuousness
To peaceful erase.
 
It wasn’t meant to be,
Or was it?
Such thoughts arise,
Sometimes.

25 comments:

  1. Beautifully penned. You've captured the sadness and longing well...

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  2. Captured that feeling of lost love

    perfectly

    Ally :)

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    1. It was a lost love, indeed, but also one gone way wrong. The one that got away, thankfully! :) Gratis Ally!

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  3. That is so sweet, Shawn! I love the use of tumultousness.

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    1. That word saved me the many others that would have come, had I had more words to work with. Thank you for your kind comment.

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  4. The last question asked was brilliant and eternal (that, and you can probably guess that I'm a fan of the use of first/last line repetition as well =) Nicely done, sir!

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    1. Thanks troy P! The last line was a last minute change, glad you took note!

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  5. something other than thoughts did arise

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    1. The sun rose in that relationship around 1825 times.

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  6. I love the ending especially...or was it? We can always think of things both ways, which way, other ways. I, too, love the repetition at the beginning and the ending. Sometimes relationships are that way too. Well done!

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    1. Thank you for taking the time to give me a comprehensive analogy of my poem. I appreciate that!

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  7. This is beautiful. I love the lines for the beginning and end "thoughts arise, sometimes." To me, it's amazing how when I least expect it, thoughts do arise and take me back in time to a memory that can be bitter sweet. This piece is very easy for me to relate to, so I love it.

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    1. Those bittersweet thoughts are the ones that consummate that leaving the situation was the right thing to do. So glad you can relate and especially happy you enjoyed reading my poem. Thanks Donetta!

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  8. So touching, the pain and loss and unknowing all too clear.

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    1. You chimed in to the feelings I portrayed. I dig that! :)

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  9. Simple, thoughtful, lovely, full of wonder. What went wrong? Sometimes we don't know all of the answers. Great job.

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    1. The whole stereotypical young love thing, drugs, jealousy and plenty of other people's di*k went wrong. If only I knew then what I know now....I felt "couldn't etch tumultuousness into peaceful erase" would fortify where the love went wrong. Thanks for your comment Ashley!

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  10. I like the questioning in the last stanza. So easy to second-guess an ending after some time goes by.

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    1. Yeah, I guess it's a cause for questioning even after all of these years, but the answer is always easy; it happened because it had to happen. As always, thank you for your wise words and compliment.

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  11. So much sad longing. Excellent work.

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  12. The lingering sadness so tangible ... I think this express the progress from passion to end so well

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  13. Thank you for your comment Bjorn.

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  14. Couldn’t etch
    Tumultuousness
    To peaceful erase.

    Wow - the whole poem was beautiful, and that line blew me away. Incredible.

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