This weeks writing challenge is to use the beginning five words, "The first time I saw..." and continue writing 33 more words, for a total word count of 38. The catch is that each of your 33 words must be only one syllable.
The first time I saw
You,
you were good.
The next
time, frail in bed;
Hot head
hell.
The first
time I cooled
With a
wet rag; you smiled.
The last
time I saw you; I cried.
Dead.
I dedicate this poem to the numerous men, women and children who continue to lose their lives from the ravages of AIDS. This quick-spreading disease is far from over. It continues to destroy families and bodies in third world countries, where medicines are not readily available. You CAN help. Visit Topsy.org.za to learn how just a few dollars a month can make a tremendous difference in the lives of people who are still dying of this terrible disease.
So sad.. this was a great use of the prompt... indeed aids is still taking lives...
ReplyDeleteIt is sad, Bjorn. I'm preparing a fund-raiser through The Topsy Foundation and wanted to bring to light the desperation of the situation.
DeleteThanks for commenting.
Have you seen the Swedish movie "don't ever wipe tears without gloves"?
DeleteThis is heart-wrenching. You indeed shone the light on the desperation of the situation!
ReplyDeleteWithout light, darkness remains. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteSo sad and heart-wrenching, heart breaking. This disease does destroy. Well done!
ReplyDeleteIt really is sad, Gina. Orphans are made in large numbers, daily, in some nations. Thanks for reading my poem and I'm glad it touched your heart.
DeleteHow heart wrenching and sad. Lovely take on the prompt and a lovely way to give spotlight to a dreaded disease that ravages many. ♥
ReplyDeleteThank you Kathy.
DeleteHeart-wrenching piece. AIDS isn't in the news nearly as much as it was twenty years ago, yet it still affects many. Glad you brought attention to it.
ReplyDeleteIt isn't in the U.S. news, because we have it, for the most part, under control. People here still get infected, but Africa is where the desperation resides. There is not enough funds to bring the healing medications to those people. They need help. They are going through what we, here in the USA, went through all of those years ago, except their situation isn't getting much bette, there has been some progress, but 6000, or so, people die every day in Africa from AIDS.
DeleteThis gesture of caring for one who will not heal, but will succumb, is devastating. The cooling cloth says it all.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you saw the whole scope of the piece, kymm. I also have a soft spot in my heart for hospice care givers. Their job is heart wrenching.
DeleteKa-Boom! There goes my heart and my head! If one of the goals of written expression is to move the reader well, you have done that and then some! You are a kind soul and a good man, Shawn Bruce! If this was a community voting challenge, you would have gotten my vote. God Bless all those who suffer.
ReplyDeleteYour comment makes me feel like a winner. Thanks so much for each of your generous words.
Delete:)
DeleteWhat a heart-wrenching progression.
ReplyDeleteYou have me remembering old friends, long gone, with a heavy heart, but gratitude for the memories.
ReplyDeleteOh, wow! This is a heartbreaking, all-too-real scene. So sad, but beautifully told.
ReplyDelete